I wrote this post a while back and then never published it for some reason.
Weird.
ANYWAY, without further ado, please enjoy:
I've been texting back and forth with a good friend tonight and we talked a bit about worry.
I do it.
A LOT. Probably more than I ever let on.
A brief example of today's worries:
Is my phone alarm going to go off tomorrow morning or will I be late for work?
What if a tire blows while I'm on the freeway?
Am I going to say something incredibly stupid while I'm on the phone at work today and screw something important up that my boss was counting on?
What if the paint I pick for my new apartment is too dark?
What if I never have enough money to buy my own house?
And so on and so forth.
You know what worrying does for you? NOTHING. It accomplishes nothing and it certainly does nothing for my mental or physical well-being. And the most ironic part of all? Worrying is comforting to me. It's familiar. It's just something I DO. For example, life has been insane and after months of stress and worry I realized I needed to do something nice for myself and so I scheduled a massage. Now, massages are NOT necessities, in fact this was a total luxury purchase, but I had been in work/production/moving mode for so many months that I didn't know how to relax. So I scheduled a massage and hoped that the masseuse would help me relax. The lady was wonderful, but started to scold me a few minutes after working on my back, neck, and shoulders.
"What have you been doing? Your back is like a brick wall! It's like armour back here!"
In my head I'm going, "
I KNOW. That's why I came here."
She worked on my back for quite a while but eventually had to quit before she got all the knots out because we were out of time. As I was leaving she told me, "Other ladies come here to get pampered. You need to come back because you need to take care of those knots. My hands and arms are sore from working on you!"
Like I said, worry does nothing for you. It's not a good motivator and it takes me so long to relax after I've been in high stress mode. However, what always happens when I start feeling more relaxed (and rational) is that I can usually get a good grip on myself and talk myself down. The worries I had in the beginning seem a little silly even:
If your phone doesn't go off then you will be late and that's just how your day is going to go. Whatever. Move on and make up for the lost time later.
If your tire blows you already know how to change a tire like a boss. Do it and get on with your life.
You're still learning how to do your job. You might mess up. Hey, in fact I can GUARANTEE that you WILL mess up at one point. You are not perfect but you are a dang fast learner and you will know better for the next time.
So don't paint the entire room. Just paint one wall and see if it works. If you don't like it then guess what? You
can buy more paint and fix it. (Le gasp!)
Then you never have enough money to buy a house. There are plenty of other options like renting, leasing, etc. YOU HAVE OPTIONS.
In closing here is something I am trying to remember and hope that you will too: Life is so much better when you aren't letting worry dictate your every move and your every emotion. Try taking a little time for you and do something you love whether it's painting your toenails a fresh, new color, reading a favorite book (Hello old friend!), or impulse buying that cupcake that looks so yummy. (Yes, they're not good for you, but saying yes when you usually tell yourself no is good for your soul. Honest.)
You don't have to try and schedule a full blown vacation. (That might be more stress than it's worth.) Just be nice to yourself in little ways. It is so important that you make and (MOST importantly)
take the time for you! I'm pretty sure you already make the time for everyone else in your life and do what they need and ask of you. Guess what? You are just as important as they are. Treat yourself like you treat everyone else and let me know how it goes!
Until next time!
Em
What's something nice that you do for yourself when you need a little pick-me up?
